


All Right.

by 134340inTEARs



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: M/M, ansgty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-09
Updated: 2018-07-09
Packaged: 2019-06-07 21:37:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15228396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/134340inTEARs/pseuds/134340inTEARs
Summary: Stanley Uris confesses his feelings for Bill Denbrough.





	All Right.

The day was a usual hot weather in summer, for the Losers. Each summer, they would choose a day to go to the Quarry, and that was today. They could achieve a little happiness on this day, forget about any little things they had to go through – like Henry Bowers and his friends – and just appreciate the time together. Thinking only about happy thoughts. About their laughs. About jokes.

They were looking down the cliff. Beverly, Bill, Stan, Eddie, Ben, Richie and Mike. In this order, they were giving hands. Even if they were used to this, it still frightened their chests. Jumping like this was scary, all the time.

Stan was shivering a lot – not for jumping, he was the only used to that – because his hands were attached to Bill’s. No one would notice a thing because they thought he was just like the others. But he wasn’t. Oh no, he was trembling of anxiety, all right, for giving hands with Bill. Why? He could say he likes him. No – He loves him.

A breeze was passing by their bodies, making goosebumps as an unintentional reaction. The Losers jumped to that, the cold was too much for them, even if the weather was hot, it was becoming night, so the weather would change gradually. Once they jumped and felt even colder, they dove into the water, searching for their bodies’ temperature, only coming out when they felt alright.

Once Bill comes out to take a breath, he only shows his blue eyes and his wet hair. Stan looked at him, already out of the water, sitting on a rock in the middle of the Quarry’s water. Due to the glare, Bill looked back at him, with what seemed a serious expression, after followed by a smile that Stan couldn’t give back. He was too nervous to act. He thought Bill would get mad, but he didn’t. At least he didn’t seem mad to Stan.

He sighed and looked away. He couldn’t think of anything on that moment, his thoughts flew away with his look. He felt lost for seconds. The world seemed disappearing for seconds. He felt calm. The world seemed like a peaceful place. Only birds singing on the background. Only the trees balancing to the wind. That was the effect Bill had on Stan, even if he didn’t show it. He trusted Bill, not only because he loved him. Also because they were friends. They were _friends_. And he trusted him.

Bill was like a leader for the Losers, everyone trusted the boy and whenever someone needed a shoulder to lean on, Bill would be there. But Stan didn’t trust him for that – also that but –, he trusted him for being him. Stan actually didn’t really know the reason. Bill carried trust on him. A smile was only needed for Stan and he would be okay. That’s how Stan felt.

Stan was finally recovering his thoughts, lost on Bill. He didn’t even hear the Losers calling out for him, nor them leaving the water to dry. He was dried anyways. But he would get wet again, when he left the rock.

He looked up, noticing far, Bill was _so_ close to Bev. And for Stan sadness, they kissed. He couldn’t look at that. It hurt. It really hurt.

“Stan, Hurrey up, man. We gotta go!” Richie yelled enough to wake Stan.

He only noticed he was crying when he wiped off his cheek. Making him disgusted for being like this. He’s so _weak_. He jumped into the water, to leave the rock and also to make no one see him that messy. He dove as much as he could almost losing his breath. Almost passing out.

He rolled his eyes when he heard, blurry, Mike calling for him to hurry.

All he wished was to be alone at that time. Let him die there. Maybe it was stupid of him. Bill was his friend, after all. But he couldn’t help but think that way.

People had told him Bev and Bill had kissed before this one, but it didn’t seem that bad to him. He wasn’t there. He didn’t see it, so he couldn’t also imagine the happening. That’s why it didn’t hurt. But now it all seemed so clear. So truthful. So real. He was there, watching, with his own eyes, them kissing.

He could feel Ben. Ben had feelings towards Bev, so he knew what he was feeling.

After that, all he could think about when with the Losers, was Beverly’s lips pressed onto Bill’s. It was disgusting to imagine. All right. He started to act differently. He didn’t want to, yet it was stronger than him, and he still did it. Everyone got shocked at him. Yeah, Stan never was the kind of person to act like that. He was always so calm. And so chilled. They wanted to ask him what was wrong. They didn’t, though. They were too scared to say anything that could hurt him. Or ask what they shouldn’t. Richie trashmouth was suspecting, yet he didn’t say a word.

Stan was standing at his locker, after he left the Losers, because he couldn’t take any more bullshit.

“Stan.” He recognized the voice that didn’t stutter. Bill was there, behind his lockers’ door. He freaked out and looked inside. Not being able to close the door. He took a deep breath and frightened when Bill closed it for him a little too hard. “Hey.” Stan looked at him, in shock. “Ke-Ke-Can I talk wi-with you after sk-sk-school?” Bill asked.

“Today?” Stan answered, scared. Didn’t know why. His nervousness was noticeable on his voice. And the boy nodded at him. He was fuming with nerves.

When the classes were over, when the last beg rang, he followed Bill, head lowered. Saying no words.

“What do you want to talk about?” He finally said once they were in a private place to talk.

“Why are yu-yu-you acting sssss-so weird, lately?” Stan sighed.

“Me?” He tried to pretend.

Bill was getting upset. “Yeah, you. Why a-a-are you acting so m-mad?” And Stan rolled his eyes.

“Why would you think I’m mad at you?”

“I nuh-nuh-never said you were. I said you’re ac-acting like as if.” Stan swallowed hard. “What’s wrong?” Bill said with a tender voice, not stuttering like he’s used to.

Stan stared into his eyes. Full of courage. “Why did you kiss Beverly?” The words came out like swords pointing at – not Bill – Stan. He felt like crying.

“Wuh-Wuh-What do you mean?” Bill was confused. “Do you l-like Bev?”

“No!” He yelled, impatience.

“So?”

“I like you, Bill. For fucks sake.” He cried and swallowed when he saw Bill’s expression change.

“Oh- Stan.” He didn’t know what to say. And Stan already knew the reason.

Bill was in love with Beverly. He loved her. And she loved him. And Bill would never feel the same toward Stan. He needed to move on. Forget about all this. Forget about his feelings and him, especially. It hurt. But it would pass. Like any other crush he had. Right? He would be okay, Right? He just confessed to one of his friends. But that’s okay, right? All right.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! TEAR.


End file.
